Part 2. Things changed – Holding back

From all the teasing and talking
Flirting like it meant nothing

He can’t see
I’m swooning the other end of the phone

Waiting for his call
He won’t leave me alone

I secretly tell myself
I like this, so very much

He’s stroking my broken ego
Making me feel beautiful
Confident and sexy again

I get a morning text
Can’t wait to see you next

Never a dull moment
I always have a smile on my face

Oh shit I’m falling
Falling rather fast

I need to hold back these feelings
Hold them rather fast

Why are things changing
You know this thing won’t last.

Part 1. Things changed.

For months
Weeks
You were after me
Consistently pursuing me

I told you straight
We argued
Then things were great

We continued talking
Teasing, talking

And I found myself falling
That’s when things changed…

Waiting..

You know the waiting game
After being intimate
It’s that “wait”

The one after you said
Good bye I’ll ring you later
That “wait”

The waiting by your phone
Even though you’re not alone
That “wait”

The waiting for the message
As he’s gotta dash
But then there’s no message
That “wait”

It’s only been a short time
But this wait
Is crippling every corner
Of my mind

But there is nothing I can do
Except..wait.

Torturous mind

I’m torturing my mind
As I walk down the
Dark steps of my thoughts
The silence is deafening
With no clear reason why
But I wait..
I will confess;
For you to prove my thoughts wrong
And that you ease
My torturous mind.

Please..

Please don’t let me
Be a fool
For telling you all
And falling for you

Please don’t let me
Be a fool
And wonder
If you’re thinking of me too

Please don’t let me
Be a fool
For believing that
You love me too.

Please don’t let me
Be a fool
For missing you
And wanting you

Please…

Asleep..

I’m asleep
And you eloquently invade
My dreams
With your wicked whispers
Of desires
Pulling me further
Away from reality
And into my
Ultimate fantasy.

Life..

Life;

*I sigh frustratedly*

Is so confusing
Conflicting
Challenging
And oh so complicated!
It’s chaotic
It’s robotic
It’s high n’ low
It’s all
Or nothing (you know)!
Its missing
A soul
It’s happy
It’s sad
It’s fine
It’s ok
But you’re
Still on
my brain
After all of this time
And I don’t know why
So I sit and I sigh
I wait
And continue
To contemplate
My life..

If I…

If I ripped out my
Soul
Told you my feelings
Heart felt and raw
Would listen to
The words that I have to say?
Would you already know?
Or would you walk away?

You, you YOU…

You’re under
My skin
My blood stream
As it flows through me
It whispers only
Your name
You’re in
My veins
Though
I shouldn’t
Complain
You’ve stirred
My soul
Though your
Intentions
Remain silent

You’ve infected
My brain
I’m going insane
My mind is
bruised
Black and blue
With thoughts
Of only you

My thought
Process is all about you
The thinking
The dreaming
The speaking
It’s all just..
You, you,
YOU.

Dream..

I’ve never met him
But his words
His thoughts
Effect me
Makes me want
Though he’s nowhere near
I’m ready
Waiting
Wanting
Him
But his touch I’ll never feel
So I shall have to lay in heels
Touch myself..
And dream..